Women's Intuition

On the plane today, to Hilton Head, I was sitting next to this cute 7th grade teacher. She was reading Homeless Bird, a story about Koly an Indian girl who is forced into an arranged marriage as a child. Conversation on the subject and my input as an Indian occupied us for the large part of the flight time.

I was just finishing Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. How is it, Tessa asked. It's complex. It's about this guy who's slept with 514 women between the ages of 19 and 90, but never felt an intimate emotional connection with any of them. At 90, when his capacity to conduct intercourse has diminished, he finds himself in love, emotionally attached to a 14 year old.

And the funny thing is, that all he does is observe her while she sleeps naked. And sometimes he sleeps next to her. They've never talked, but somehow they've become friends. Their gestures towards one another do the speaking.

That's creepy. And WEIRD! Tessa said with an emphasis. Can I glance through it? I didn't mind. After 10-15 minutes, she quipped. It's different. I think it's a different kind of friendship. Like when you see someone everyday taking the same train, you exchange glances, smile, but never talk. They put you at ease. And then one day, when you didn't see them on the same train, you feel a bit of a loss. A part of your world, that train ride, has changed. And it bothers you. Tessa was from Montreal, and on her way to some exotic destination in Central America.

Quickly the conversation turned to friendship. Who is a friend? What it means to be a friend to someone? Is there a quality associated with friendship? What makes someone a good friend? Should one have many friends or a few very good friends?

Tessa navigated such emotional terrain with great ease. A friend is anyone who puts you at ease and makes you feel good about yourself; by giving you their time, attention or caring for you. To be someone's friend is doing the same thing in return. Friendship has a definite quality associated with it, she continued, the more one friend opens up to another, the better friends they become. A good friend is someone you trust, someone who looks out for you and isn't afraid to speak the truth that helps you become a better person. And on the question of the number of friends, Tessa said, it really depends. I used to have many, many people I would call friends, but as I started working and became busy with my life, I found myself very alone. I think you only have a few people in life you can count on, so yes few good friends is probably the way to go.

I smiled. I agreed with her on many things. Don't you feel hurt if you open up to someone and they don't feel the need to include you in their life? Definitely that's something to think about. Giving the other person sometime to open up is one way to look at it. And if you've waited for a while and that hasn't happened, sometimes its just better to let go.

It took me a few minutes to digest that. Are you having some friend trouble Sergio? (She couldn't pronounce my name right, and after a while, I just gave up.)

I am. I mean, I was. I just try not to think about it anymore. He got married, and things went downhill from there. I loved him like a brother, but we rarely talk now. It does feel like a part of my world has changed. I was visibly upset.

Tessa pulled tucked some tresses of her brilliant red hair behind her ear. She put her hand on my shoulder. It'll turn out fine. I wouldn't think about it too much. Such encouragement from a complete stranger was welcome, and very touching. What I was going to do next was shameful.

I turned my head, looked into her coral eyes. Took a deep breath. Don't worry, it happens, she said. I sprouted a grin on my face. Got you! Why do girls always fall for a sentimental masquerade?

You made that up? Most of it, I said. You're such an asshole, she uttered. Her face conveyed no connotations of malice. I'm sorry Tessa. I didnt mean to tease you, but somehow I felt you'd fall for it. I had to try it. I was just kidding.

The plane landed shortly afterwards. As we got off the plane, we exchanged usual parting pleasantries. And then, just like that, Tessa said Sergio, it was a good time. And btw, that friend wasn't imaginary. She winked, turned around and walked away to her flight.

She was right. He wasn't. But how did she know?

A Simple Epiphany

Some of life's lessons need to be experienced. I've always been told, by my parents, by my teachers, my friends and erstwhile "significant others" that I just need to slow down. Let things come as they are. Enjoy the moment. Relax.

I never really agreed with them before. It was a sign of weakness, of compromise with life, its inherent frustrations. To me it was giving up on yourself.

This month has changed my mind. For once, I did let myself slow down, didnt let anything get to me. Spent some time doing what I enjoy. And I must admit, I've had a blast.

A few minutes ago, In my jammies, I finished smoking a Cuban, over a glass of Italian Bergamot enjoying the companionship of Maliha and her vivid stories of a year long sojourn through the Middle East. I had a blast with her. It really felt good.

Life is like a rich, delicious dessert. For enhanced pleasure, it must be had, one bite at a time, with frequent intervals. Rush it, and one risks missing out on the subtle yet pleasurable flavors.

That's my simple epiphany. 2007 will be the best year of my life.

Breath of Fresh Air

Once in a while this arid landscape of Los Angeles presents a genuine, down to earth soul, not afraid to speak her mind. Such a welcome change from the conforming and average barbie one meets every now and then.

It's so refreshing. A welcome breeze. A breath of fresh air.

Say Hello To Your New Neighbour!

I thought this weekend was going to be an utter waste. But things turned out quite well actually. I bought a condo that I liked, we should close and have escrow done in two weeks. And the current occupants have decided to rent the place until I decide what's the best long term strategy on it.

Finding a place that I liked and wanted to live in (eventually) was a tough job. The decision to buy is like giving birth. You take a pretty huge burden upon yourself and hope that you dont screw things up. It took a little bit of horse-trading, some back and forth, but I managed to get it it several Gs below list price.

A female friend of mine, soon to be married, lives right next door. As soon as the seller accepted the offer, I sent her an SMS "Say Hello To Your New Neighbour!" She replied back, "Wow, I cant believe that you bought the condo next door. My major purchase this weekend was a Wii."

I hope I made smart use of my money, just as she did with hers.

An Orphan Up For Adoption

It's been over two years at my current job. And now, I'm trying (very hard actually) for a new gig within my current company and outside. Since the beginning of February, I have had 6 interviews, which includes 2 within the current company I work for.

Interviewing as an experienced hire is very different from the kind of interviewing that one goes through out of college. While people look for smarts and intellect in college hires, in experienced hires, they look for the kind of work one's done, for how long and most importantly the kind of impact and results that one's work has created. Somehow, all these criteria become linked with how old a particular individual is.

One of the obstacles that I constantly come across is age. At nearly 25, I am the youngest person on my current team. But the experience that I have come to acquire in the past two plus years makes me a good fit for jobs where there are 40 year olds in the fray too. Blatant age discrimination, but you know how people put a PC spin on things.

I went to interview for a job a couple of weeks ago in the bay area. Everything went fine, and then someone asked me how old I was. I looked at the person and smiled, while trying to frame my answer within a set of complex disclaimers and "if-but" statements. It really doesnt matter to us, but you look too young. And then I said it, I am going to be 25 this year. There, no ifs, no buts, the honest truth.

We're looking for more organizational maturity (read older person) and more direct experience with VC markets. Yesterday, that was the first response that I got. From a recruiter at the venture capital firm in the bay area. There are probably 5 more emails such as that one, with similar reasons with my name on them and are floating around somewhere.

I was out last night and had dinner with a friend. She said, currently with the changes at work, I feel like a child without my parents. Heh, I muttered, you think that's bad. I feel like an orphan who's up for adoption, who's been on the line up several times, and no ones wants him. Everyone loves the bio, but when they see the child in person, the child just isnt pretty enough.

Awww. You poor thing you, she said. We'll call you Annie from now on. Both of us laughed. Because really, that's the best spin to put on such things.